ARGGG!

I am struggling right now. My future is looking bleak. I have been kicking, screaming, throwing an all out tantrum (ask my family I am sure they would fill in the details) I am angry at being at the place I am in now. The situation hasn't changed, though I am feeling a little more drained .

In between the times of having the bad attitude I have been clinging to God and his word. Really God and his word is my foundation, my rock. I feel safe in throwing my tantrum but I am still clinging to Him. He is where my hope is and I know that to the very core of my being. I have had several moments in the last few days where I have had to confess being totally self-centered and ungrateful.

In the meantime I have been working on a study by Beth Moore. I have been reading about Joy. God is our source of Joy. According to the Bible our salvation is reason enough to be joyful. "Restore the joy of your Salvation to me..." Psalm 51:12 God really did save us from the pit. whatever I'm facing now, it doesn't compare.

Something else. Paul rejoiced in his sufferings. He rejoiced while he was in jail. As a result he led the jailer AND his household to salvation(Act 16:25-34). I wonder if he would have had the same impact if he threw a temper tantrum first....God can really use everything for his Glory.

So instead of me seeing myself put out and uncomfortable I need to be looking for what God is doing in this situation and be praising him and rejoicing. I am grateful that this is just a temporary suffering (1 Peter 5:10.) I am also so glad for God's mercy and willingness to forgive my a bucket load of times!(psalm 86)


In parting, here is a Psalm that I have been reading multiple times. I hope you enjoy.

Psalm 71

God the Rock of Salvation

1 In You, O LORD, I put my trust;
Let me never be put to shame.
2 Deliver me in Your righteousness, and cause me to escape;
Incline Your ear to me, and save me.
3 Be my strong refuge,
To which I may resort continually;
You have given the commandment to save me,
For You are my rock and my fortress.

4 Deliver me, O my God, out of the hand of the wicked,
Out of the hand of the unrighteous and cruel man.
5 For You are my hope, O Lord GOD;
You are my trust from my youth.
6 By You I have been upheld from birth;
You are He who took me out of my mother’s womb.
My praise shall be continually of You.

7 I have become as a wonder to many,
But You are my strong refuge.
8 Let my mouth be filled with Your praise
And with Your glory all the day.

9 Do not cast me off in the time of old age;
Do not forsake me when my strength fails.
10 For my enemies speak against me;
And those who lie in wait for my life take counsel together,
11 Saying, “God has forsaken him;
Pursue and take him, for there is none to deliver him.”

12 O God, do not be far from me;
O my God, make haste to help me!
13 Let them be confounded and consumed
Who are adversaries of my life;
Let them be covered with reproach and dishonor
Who seek my hurt.

14 But I will hope continually,
And will praise You yet more and more.
15 My mouth shall tell of Your righteousness
And Your salvation all the day,
For I do not know their limits.
16 I will go in the strength of the Lord GOD;
I will make mention of Your righteousness, of Yours only.

17 O God, You have taught me from my youth;
And to this day I declare Your wondrous works.
18 Now also when I am old and grayheaded,
O God, do not forsake me,
Until I declare Your strength to this generation,
Your power to everyone who is to come.

19 Also Your righteousness, O God, is very high,
You who have done great things;
O God, who is like You?
20 You, who have shown me great and severe troubles,
Shall revive me again,
And bring me up again from the depths of the earth.
21 You shall increase my greatness,
And comfort me on every side.

22 Also with the lute I will praise You—
And Your faithfulness, O my God!
To You I will sing with the harp,
O Holy One of Israel.
23 My lips shall greatly rejoice when I sing to You,
And my soul, which You have redeemed.
24 My tongue also shall talk of Your righteousness all the day long;
For they are confounded,
For they are brought to shame
Who seek my hurt.